Becoming a pastor's wife

 
I am honored Holly asked if I would share with her blog followers what it was like to go from a businessman’s wife to a pastor’s wife. From a regular church member to a staff member. This was definitely a transition for myself, my husband and I as a couple, and also for my family. I am Angie Blackson and my husband Josh (Operations Pastor at Elevation Church) and I have 3 sweet little girls. My oldest, Alyssa, is 6 ½ not 6 and is in the first grade. Kaitlyn, our middle, is 4. And our youngest, Karis, just celebrated her 3rd bithday. As my girls like to tell people, “Daddy is surrounded by girls” and he is spoiled with attention and admiration because of it!

3 years ago my husband and I made the decision to change the course of our field to the ministry. I never dreamed I would be a Pastor’s wife in a million years. It is just not a story I ever considered writing up for myself. Our life of 7 years before making this decision was very typical and completely within the boundaries of my comfort zone. My husband worked a 5 day a week 9-5 job with a set salary that seemed crazy high for a 22-29 year old. We spent our weekends volunteering at Elevation Church, leading community groups, and hanging out with friends.  We had a great life!

Then God called us to join the staff of Elevation Church. I was excited but deep within me there was this feeling of uncertainty. I feel so guilty stating this but I hope this is helpful to someone out there. I was so comfortable and happy with our life I felt like this could be taking a step in a more difficult direction. My perspective was what the American culture has trained it to be. As you get older your pay increases, your house gets bigger, your vacations become more extravagant, your cars get nicer, you even get to tithe more, you get to spend your weekends and holidays however you wanted, and so on.
Thankfully, my husband had the vision during his years in the business world to put us in a position where, when the opportunity came for us to be on Elevation’s staff, we were able to say yes to God’s will.

The first huge transition we faced going into the ministry was our budget.  I first need to state that Pastor Steven and Chunks (Executive Pastor) do a great job taking care of their staff financially. They took time looking over our budget and crunching numbers to make sure the salary they set for my husband would not leave us in a deficit. It was well above the industry standard. But it was a little less than we had gotten used to making in the previous few years. It took my mind getting use to the fact that Josh would not come home announcing he got promoted and with the promotion comes a $10,000 pay raise. My perspective had transitioned to when Josh gets a bonus we can put a fence in to now planning ahead and saving for big ticket items. According to Dave Ramsey planning ahead and saving is the better route anyways. Pastor Steven is also very creative in how he financially supports the staff. One example is how he invests in our marriage with sending Josh and I out for a date at no expense to us. And honestly, I have never been a part of a culture that puts more emphasis on generosity and taking care of its own than Elevation.  Still, it was a different framework. One I had to work to get used to.

The second major transition we made was what our family time looked like. We started out by doing what we were use to doing, Friday night thru Sunday family and date time. It took me about 6 months to figure out that our “family” time was non-exsistent. What I ended up doing was sitting down with Josh and writing our detailed weekly schedule out. I am a visual learner. Once our schedule was written in front of me I was able to get creative with what our family time looked like. In the beginning there were nights the girls and I would bring dinner to Josh and we would eat as a family at the Elevation offices. Our dates often times ended with checking on construction sites. Before you say that does not sound like family time or a date night hear me out. I had trained my girls and myself that supporting Josh is our number 1 job. We get to be a part of what he is doing! We loved going to the office and seeing the people he works with. I loved seeing the progress of Matthews and Blakeney as they were being built. I guess it is all in what your expectations are and mine were simply to be with Josh and be able to be a part of what he was doing each day.

The last major transition we dealt with when Josh became a Pastor was the way the outside world looked at us. In the beginning we had a hard time admitting Josh was a “Pastor”. Not because of shame. We noticed that when we shared what Josh did people would visibly put a wall up. Our neighbors stopped asking us over for dinners or social gatherings. It was as if they had in their minds we were judging them because of our new position. I can’t report that this has changed completely. I think we will always deal with this. But God is good! He has taken our position and used it over and over for his glory. I stopped worrying about what people thought of us and chose to love in a way that is true to who I am. Time has shown that our neighbors respect us. There have been times they come to us seeking advice or prayer. And since being on staff at Elevation we have seen 3 families in our neighborhood give their lives to Christ and get baptized. God has given us a platform at church to be able to speak into so many lives.

My role as a wife and mother remains the same whether in the ministry or in corporate America. It took God taking me out of corporate America to change my perspective. I wish I had lived in corporate America the way I live now. It makes complete sense to me now when Pastor Steven says everyone is in the ministry full-time. Pastor’s wife or Business Man’s wife I should be viewing my budget in a way that stretches each dollar and spends each penny wisely. I should be intentional and creative with my family time. I should choose a radical lifestyle that causes people to wonder what it is that is different about me.  And I should be intentional about encouraging those God has brought in my life.

What started out seeming to be a major sacrifice has actually turned out to be one of the greatest upgrades of our lives.

Comments

[ldw]

Angie, this was such a sweet blog and a blessing. You’ve helped me understand that I can be creative in dating my 17 year old daughter, seriously. Lately it seems like we have gotten so busy with everything in our lives, and it feels more like a separation than a life together, ouch. Your dating tips certainly have encouraged me! Thank you again for writing from the heart, and sharing the details. Your family is another perfect example, of how Elevation is leading all of us in excellence. Congratulations, and may God continue to use you and bless you.

[Veronica]

Holly, this is a fantastic story/post! I'd love to share her story as a featured post on CLUTCHtalk.org. I'm sure it would be a great blessing to the readers there.

Would it be okay with you and her to feature this post/her story?

thanks,
Veronica

[Angelina]

Thank you so much for sharing. I am not a Pastor's wife but newly married and praying about how to budget my time with God, new husband, work, church, me. The detailed schedule comment was further confirmation about how to better handle our time. Thank you again..so timely!

[Rhondi Mullins]

Angie, I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Thanks for being so transparent.

[Rebecca Rouse]

the best challenge for me from this post -
'I had trained my girls and myself that supporting Josh is our number 1 job.'
I want to teach that to my girls, and show them how to through example . . .
Thank you for being honest and open Angie! Thank you Holly for hosting her post today : )

[Jane]

Thanks for sharing- this hit home with me because my husband and I own a large business and we are feeling that there is more to life than this! Some of the things you mentioned are our fears. Thanks for being honest, transparent, and showing how the transition has changed you for the positive. Also, thanks for mentioning that I do have a ministry right now as a business owners wife....

[Amanda]

Thank you! We made the same transition 6 months ago. I am glad to read a similar story. May God continue to bless you and your family.