Parenting with gentleness

I have been having a difficult time with one of my children lately.  We just seem to be butting heads in every direction.  Last Saturday, I was taking a minute to read a few of the blogs in my Google reader.  I am really backed up (as I write this I have over 80 unread items).  And just like God does, He lead me to a post by Jen.  She posted these three verse in reference to parenting...

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

The heart of the righteous studies how to answer. Proverbs 15:28

If someone is caught in a sin, you who are wise should restore him gently. Galatians 6:1
 

And the Lord really spoke to me.  I cannot always control or change my children's behavior.  But I can control my response to them.  Emotionally lashing out at them is not effective.  Often my response is just a more socially acceptable adult version of their childish behavior.

I am certainly not preaching from a place of perfection here.  But my heart's desire is to wisely instruct and direct my children.  A change in their behavior may very well begin with a change in my behavior.  So I started out by trying to commit these scripture verses to memory and I have asked God to work in me and then use me to direct my kids.

Comments

[Holly Furtick]

Stacey, Of course you can re-post!

[Stacey]

I love this - it is what we are dealing with right now in our family. Can I repost (with a link back to here) on my blog this weekend? I have weekend guest posts and this hits the nail on the head!

[Erika]

I really appreciate your sharing those words. As a Mom of four I struggle with this everyday. I try and carry around a QTip to remind me to not take everything so personally. And that they are learning from our responses. And to take a pause before responding to my kids and to apologize if I have an adult tantrum. It good for them to see us as imperfect children of god too. We have only been coming to your Church for two months but the gifts have been such a blessing.

[Michelle M.]

Oh Holly, I cannot thank you enough for this post. In the craziness of back-to-school schedules, soccer, and just being a mom with two young boys (ages 4 & 5) I have felt myself lacking in patience these days. The other day, I just had to close my eyes and pray for wisdom in how to handle my son who was having a melt down about having to wear pants instead of shorts! This blog could not have been more timely...thank you for your encouragement and helpful words from God.

[Becky]

This is great. I have been dealing with some things with my children, and the same thought came to me. Maybe the change needs to start with me. I know I don't always respond the way I should. Thanks for posting those scriptures.

[Brooke]

So glad you re-posted these verses and you're experience in learning them. It baffles me how these most beautiful creation of God are still born with a sinful heart. And like you said, reminds me of my own sinful heart.

[teri]

ahhhh...so, so good. so, so timely. prov 31:26 will definitely be committed to my memory! thank you for sharing!

[kelly webb]

Wow, I really needed this post today - what a great word, simple yet soo profound! Esp. loved this bit of wisdom you wrote, "Often my response is just a more socially acceptable adult version of their childish behavior." Going to take that to heart today - thanks and blessings to you, sister.

[Kim Sullivan]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! During my quiet time this morning I was praying to have the Lord heal my children's hearts from my lack of patience. I also prayed from the Lord to speak to me today and that is exactly what He did through your words. Change must begin with my actions and reactions. Thank you for your honestly and willingness to share with all of us. I live in California and found Elevation through Lysa Terkeurst's blog. There is not a day that passes in which I am not grateful for you and your church. Have a blessed day!

[Ruth]

Just what I needed to read. I'm going to commit these verses to memory as well. Thank you!

[Sarah Kathryn Hall (@SHall86)]

Holly, I really needed that too, thanks so much for posting. Your children are so adorable. Thanks for all the ways you invest in God's treasures (people) and risk your heart on God's will for your life. You are true inspiration. Have a wonderful week, full of moments with Jesus :)