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September 15, 2011

Flattery vs Encouragement

My eGroup meets each Wednesday night.  It is always such a great time of encouragement.  Last night we continued our discussion about putting practical handles on how to speak the language of respect to our husbands.

One of the things we discussed is the difference between flattery and encouragement.  Here is a great definition I ripped of the world wide web...

Flattery is the use of truths, half-truths or lies to secure something beneficial for ourselves.  Encouragement is the use of truth to build-up someone else.  In other words, flattery and encouragement differ in integrity and intention.  The flatterer will use whatever is needed (truth, half-truth, lies) to get what he wants.  The encourager only uses truth to build-up another person.

Flattery is about me.  Encouragement is about building him up.  It's about authentically verbalizing the strengths we see in our husbands to them.  We all have an insatiable appetite for encouragement.  It is so important to get in the habit of encouraging our spouse.  Not because we want something from him, but because we love him and want to build him up.

I would love to challenge you today to make a point not to speak anything negative to your spouse and only to build them up.  I will give you some phrases to help you get started...
    -I am proud of you because...
    -I appreciate it when you...
    -You are great at...
    -I love it when you...



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Wonderful post! I really liked the definition of the two and exploring my heart to determine which I use in my conversation with my hubby!

I love this! I do try to do this with my spouse. What also helps is to encourage him when he feels down. He is very thankful for me building him up and encouraging him. I do try to tell him I appreciate him. Thank you holly for your blog! I enjoy the pictures of your family and the encouraging words and scripture. God bless! :)

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