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March 29, 2012

Why do I want to stay mad at you?

Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

In my Bible study this week, What's it like to be married to me? by Linda Dillow (see this post), we have been talking about forgiveness.  The title of the chapter is, "Why do I want to stay mad at you?"  The chapter talks about when we choose not to forgive, we are avoid seeing any wrong we may have done in the situation.  In other words, unforgiveness keeps me from seeing the plank in my own eye.

In Ephesians 4 it says we should get rid of bitterness (choosing not to forgive), rage and anger, harsh words (words spoken to the person), and slander (words spoken about the person).  The book asked, which do you have the harderst time with.  Mine is probably slander.  Because I am non-confrontational, I would rather say mean things about a person than to a person.  Which do you struggle with the most?

Then the scripture tells us to be kind (acts towards a person), tenderhearted (having compassion and sympathy towards a person) and forgiving (letting go of hurts) to others.  Again the question was asked, which is the hardest for you?  I struggle with being tenderhearted.  It is easier to just think someone is a jerk than to empathize with why they are having a bad day.  Which do you have the hardest time doing?

My husband said in a sermon once, "Forgiveness is about setting someone free and finding out it was me."  I forgive because Christ has forgiven me.  Not because the person who hurt me deserves my forgiveness. Read the verse one more time and ask the Lord to give you a forgiving spirit.

Ephesians 4:31-32, Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

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Comments

Yes. I think slander is a bigger struggle for me as well. Forgetting that "venting" can be harmful.

Holly - God is speaking through you this week. You have blogged the last two days about issues I am currently facing. I am learning to go to the Lord with my complaints versus nagging my husband. What do you know - it works! I have also been studying and reading about anger and my particular struggle with a person and how to deal with it righteously as opposed to what my flesh wants to do which is to stand up for my "rights" instead of being loving. Thank you for speaking truth even though it is hard to hear. Blessings to you and your family.

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