You Asked... the early years

Holly, being a start up PW also, I am wondering what you did during the "lean times" of the first year. We moved without a team (not for lack of trying and prayer) moved 2,500 miles away from family and friends, and have started this church with just our family. How did you encourage yourself, spouse and team that God would bring about what He promised for Elevation church? Did you see growth through relationships, events, or both?  How do you keep your marriage safe guarded?  Posted by: Brenda

Warning: This post got kind of long...

I think I have mentally blocked out the "lean times."  It was a very stressful time.  For those readers who do not know the history of our church, I will give you the short version... We moved to Charlotte along with 8 other families.  Besides the folks who moved here with us, we knew no one in Charlotte.  Oh and, Elijah was about 10 weeks old and I believe he holds the Guinness World Record for most tears shed in your first year of life.

We had no building, no offices, and no clue how we were going to get people to come, but we had a lot of faith and a big vision.  We began having pre-launch meetings in a community center.  We met there for several months before we launched in February 2006.

During that first year there were no days off and no Sundays off.  My husband was supporting our family through itinerant ministry.  There were many weekends where he would leave on a Friday and come home late on Saturday night.  Sunday morning he would turn around and get up at 5, help set up, lead the music, do the announcements, preach and take up the offering.  Oh yeah, and then every Monday he drove 2 hours to Greenville to take seminary classes from 9am to 9pm.

Looking back, I know that it was God's grace that sustained us through that time.  We were a source of encouragement for each other.  I remember constantly telling him that we had done the right thing, made the right decisions by moving to Charlotte, and that God was going to reach people through our church.  Our marriage was safeguarded because we were a team.  It was our family and our church, and our vision that God had called us to.

A wise person once told me that raising children doesn't really get easier as they get older, it just gets different.  You may trade physical exhaustion for emotional exhaustion.  You still always wonder if you are doing a good job.  You never stop worrying about them.

I think the same is true for ministry work (and really life in general).  It doesn't get easier, it just gets different.  To all of you church planters out there who are thinking, everything will be better once we reach X amount of people, you are deceived. 

The good news is, God's grace is sufficient no matter what stage of ministry (or life you) are in.  And you still need to be your husband's main source of encouragement no matter how long you have been married or what his profession is.

The specific answers that you are looking for are difficult to give.  I can tell you that it was like a chain.  I encouraged him, he encouraged our team and we all saw God work.  Gradually people began to come and lives began to be changed.  As we saw our relationships grow, we saw our events grow.  As more people's lives were changed, they began to invite their friends and so on.

If you are in a situation today where it seems so difficult you can barely breathe, just remember, life does not get easier, it just gets different.  When you accept your situation and ask the Lord to show you specifically what you need to do, He will answer you.  The key is to focus on the now and forget about the one day when.  God's grace will be sufficient at every stage.

Comments

[Jonathan Damon]

Another wise person shared this with my wife years ago...
When they are little, the kids step on your toes.
When they grow, they step on your heart.

[Joy Henderson]

Hey Holly. I'm not sure where to ask a question, so I figure you filter all these and would see it eventually!

I notice in some pictures that Graham has a paci. Our Easton is 21 months old now. We took his paci away for about 2 weeks, but then he started to get his 2 year molars in. I gave in ... he got his paci back.

No sure if Graham is off his paci. But, we are youth pastors and we've been here almost 7 years. I think peoples comfortability level has set it ... because people make comments all the time that we need to take his paci away. It really is a source of comfort. And he only gets it when its nap time or he's super super irritable!!

If Graham is off his paci .... how did you do it? And what age?
I'm just looking for some tips and support!!

Thanks, Holly!

[Jennifer in MD]

This was a fantastic post. My husband and I believe with all of our hearts that we are to plant a church in our hometown one day, but that now is not God's timing, We follow Pastor Steven's blog and weekly sermons. My husband is a teaching pastor in a weekly program through our church and I see so many similarities between your husband and mine. I pray daily that I can be for him what you are for Pastor Steven. I want to make sure I continue to encourage him even before God moves us to plant the church as well as during the plant and beyond. Thank you for posting your thoughts and reflections and for being honest about everything you went through. Your post was also a great reminder that today is important and that "better when" doesn't really exist. This is a concept I have to remind myself of every day. You and Pastor Steven are true blessings to my life as well as my husband. Thank you for being great Godly examples for us to follow.

[Kristen]

Great post!!! Hit me on MANY levels. I have much to think about; pray about! We are trying to start a church overseas...same things apply! Thanks for challenging and encouraging me! Blessings!

[Tiffany Cooper]

This could not have been said better. You are an example to all women in ministry...great post. And yes, you are so right.

[Brenda Gaddy]

Holly, Thanks for answering my question. I appreciate your candor in not making it seem like it wasn't hard. I know there are no magic bullets.

Since posting the question God has reminded me to enjoy each moment be it good, bad, ugly, beautiful, whatever comes because in the end it is those moments that will make up the big picture ( think the commercials for the Blackberry phones with all the pics). I have at times believed the lie" when we get to this number it will be better" your right that things don't get easier they become different. How right you are about raising children. I have a soon to be 9 year old daughter and a 6 year old daughter and your right it didn't get easier things changed and different challenges have come along. When I read that it all kind of clicked for me.

I have also been reading Eph 5 about how we are to love each other as Christ loves the church. And how our love should be marked by giving (msg version) and have been doing my best to up the encouragement and doing things that show my love to my husband.

So this is a long way of saying thank you. Thank you for speaking to me with honesty, truth and love. Was it what I "wanted" to hear not really but WHAT I need to hear YES. So again thank you.

[Ms. Shawn Wood]

Holly. I listen to your husbands sermons every week online. He is awesome. Y'all are awesome :) I really needed this post. I have been in the wilderness for 3yrs, and see no end in sight, but have faith it is now! He is teaching me exactly what you said. Focus on Me today! Stop focusing on what is coming! The new season will be different but that doesn't mean it will be easy.
Thanks again!
Shawn

[Diana]

Holly, i want to be like you when i grow up.

seriously.

[Joni In MN]

Holly! You've stunned...in a good way...many I do believe; but I will speak only for myself ;-) I've got to tell you a little story re: your last paragraph... not just moments ago I was typing away to a friend in AZ where I lived for 10 yrs until moving to MN in 2006 to help Mom out after my brother was killed in an accident. Anyway, in that email I'd mentioned how I surely missed EVERYONE there & so wanted to get back; that I had ONE friend here that calls or comes over just because! How I hated it here but will continue to look for the POSITIVES & ACCEPT whatever God's plan is for me here. And how THANKFUL I am for having this computer & internet!!!
Well - long story short ----
"If you are in a situation today where it seems so difficult you can barely breathe, just remember, life does not get easier, it just gets different. When you accept your situation and ask the Lord to show you specifically what you need to do, He will answer you. The key is to focus on the now and forget about the one day when. God's grace will be sufficient at every stage."
---- God spoke thru you to answer me back! Unbelievable but TRUE and I so wish I was closer cause I'd give you a big hug! Instead go get one from your hubby :-D Perhaps one day we shall meet.?.?.?. Until then, I'm THANKFUL for Adam, Amiee & Kayleigh for "leading" me to Pastor Steven on facebook which led me to your blog ever so long ago!!! Hallelujah!
~Joni In MN
p.s. I copied that paragraph to print out & put on my wall (by Holly Furtick) of course :-) Thank You {{{Holly}}}

[Tricia Kaye]

That was a great post!!!

[Loren Webb]

Wow. This post couldn't be at a more perfect time. My husband and I moved to Denver a month ago to start a church. We are at a hard stage right now. I know we are suppose to be here and don't doubt God on that. It is just hard to wonder where to get started and what to do. To pick your brain about all of this would just be awesome. I guess I will have to settle reading your blog. :) Thanks for sharing your insight through your blog.

[Cheyenne Schultz]

great post!

[Angelina]

Awesome post! I really needed to hear that. Sometimes life can deal you such difficult cards and we all just need reminders that life is going to be difficult, BUT GOD! End of sentence. Thanks so very much for sharing what God has laid on your heart with us, truly a blessing!

[patty maynard]

Holly, thank you so much for this post. No matter where we are in life, how young or old we are - this is completely true. I'm so blessed to be in a church where we are constantly reminded through Pastor Steven & you that God is with us each step of the way. His grace is sufficient for today. Thank you again.

[Indy]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really needed this because I was thinking just yesterday, "How are we going to do this?" I have no clue, never been a church planter before, neither of us has gone through seminary, yet but we are convinced that we are in the center of His will...

In retrospect the "lean years" will probably be sweet for us.

Thanks, again, Holly!

[Andrea]

The last part really spoke to me. I constantly live for and work toward the "better when". This really made me realize that right now is as good as tomorrow and how important it is to accept every stage and season of my life. Thank you for answering the questions people have posted to you. They have been great to read!

[Lisa Whittle]

I super relate to this post. Great thoughts.

[Steven Furtick]

This is your best post ever Holly. You lived every word of it. I know. I was there. Thanks for believing in me.